We’ve all been there at one time or another. Sitting in a cubicle, or the like, wanting desperately to staple a co-worker’s mouth shut or just whiteout our own eyes. But we think, hey, if I work hard enough, I’ll get that promotion and maybe, just maybe, this won’t suck as much as I think it does. Welcome to BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS, where all your daydreams and nightmares come true.
Meet Evan Sanders (Fran Kranz), a low-level, dutiful employee stuck in a boring job at a soul-killing every corporation. Evan’s the kind of guy who does all the work and gets none of the credit, but at least he gets to spend his days with his beautiful co-worker/girlfriend Amanda (Emma Fitzpatrick) and his slacker best friend Tim (Joey Kern), so he soldiers on in the hope of one day getting his coveted sales director position. Unfortunately, it all falls apart in one fell swoop when Amanda breaks up with him and Evan’s boss Ted (Joel Murray) hands his promotion to his college nemesis Max (Pedro Pascal). And it isn’t just their sordid past Evan has to deal with. After his fellow officemates start going through disturbing changes (which, paradoxically, make them better employees) and bodies begin to pile up, Evan learns the horrible truth: Max is a vampire. And even worse… a vamp with a plan. Evan must find a way to stop the evil brewing amidst the cubicles, expose Max as the bloodsucking bastard that he is, and save his pals before his life and career go from dead-end…to just dead.
This film can best be described as Office Space meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the film version. But it isn’t a far stretch to say Joss Whedon‘s television series wouldn’t fall into this fandom, as well. Once again, Whedonverse darling, Fran Kranz steals the show. His innocent air is perfect for this role. Wide-eyed naivete leads a pack of misfits on a battle to keep their heads (or necks) intact. Marshall Givens as the badass, Redbull fueled, security guard is an absolute riot. Where has he been? Joey Kern plays Evan’s #2, Tim. He is a king underachiever. Pornstache and all, his nonchalant attitude is the perfect foil to Kranz’s hyperactivity. Emma Fitzpatrick as Evan’s recent ex and head of HR, is quick witted and sassy, She kills it.The opening titles kick some major ass and the film’s pace pulls no punches. If you’re a fan of Shaun of the Dead, BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS is right up your alley. You can catch this film today, September 4th, in select theaters and on VOD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSzV9oG07lo
Directed by Brian James O’Connell and penned by the popular comedy troupe Dr. God and Ryan Mitts, Bloodsucking Bastards recently made its world premiere as the opening night film at the Slamdance Film Festival 2015.
Starring:
Fran Kranz (Cabin in the Woods)
Pedro Pascal (Game of Thrones)
Emma Fitzpatrick (Significant Mother, The Collection)
Yvette Yates (Inherent Vice)
Joel Murray (Mad Men)
Joey Kern (Cabin Fever)



I’ve been a nanny and a teacher. We all know, even working outside early childhood education that some parents ans children are just plain weird. Yup. I said it. Weird. In Juanra Fernandez‘s new Spanish horror creation PARA ELISA, weird takes on a whole new meaning.
In need of some quick and easy cash, Ana arrives for a job interview as a nanny. The mother of the house is an eccentric musician with a screw loose. One giant dilemma stands in Ana’s way; Mom is not only certifiably insane but her daughter, Elisa, is even more disturbed. Her sense of reality has been twisted by years of abuse combined with what seems like mental illness. Ana is made into a living doll for Elisa to “toy” with.
Our heroine is played in realistic fashion by Ona Casamiquela. I do not know what I would do faced with this scenario but she fights her ass off. Scary mommy Diamantina is played brilliantly by Luisa Gavasa. Think Sunset Boulevard lost her mind. I would watch an entire film about her back story in a heart beat. Elisa is portrayed by Ana Turpin. She skillfully created a character you find yourself caring for and fearing. This is a fearless performance. I would seek out more work from her. Someone get Guillermo Del Toro in touch with Turpin, please?
Not since Grand Piano have I been this unsettled by the sights and sounds of a piano in an opening credits sequence. This sets the stage for the entire rest of Para Elisa. Taking a page right out if Stephen King‘s Misery, add in a dash of People Under The Stairs parenting style and you’ve got yourself a rousing good time. The violence ramps up and up as the story progresses, all action occurring within one night, and at a tight 71 minute run time, Para Elisa is one satisfying nightmare.
















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