WHO I AM NOT

Gender identity is a hot-button issue around the globe. For intersex people, existing is complicated and emotionally taxing. SXSW 2023 doc WHO I AM NOT follows two individuals who follow divergent paths on their journey to self-acceptance. When intersex children are born, most doctors suggest that parents choose one set of genitals. This complex decision should not even be an option. Sharon-Rose and Katso were born with both sets of genitals. Neither function to produce children. The film exploring happiness, navigating family, discrimination, and dating is emotionally wrought and fascinating.

Dimakatso Sebidi is a male-presenting person whose intersex identity prevents them from finding a job. They feel their family made a terrible decision at birth, stealing any chance for pure happiness. In the search for medical answers, a pelvic exam proves excruciating for Katso. An ultrasound allows them to see what their internal sex organs look like for the first time. A chromosomal test confirms something astonishing. The stress and fear are palpable. They go so far as to seek validation and cleansing from elders. Spritual reckoning involves bone reading and four chickens.

Sharon-Rose Khumalo presents as a female. She and Katso connect for the same reasons but exist on opposite sides of the gender spectrum. Sharon-Rose is a beauty pageant winner, works in marketing, and hosts a DIY home decor Youtube channel. She longs to bear children but knows it is impossible. The classically beautiful and happy facade disguises deep, longing sadness. Her attempts to find a partner that accepts her inability to have biological children nearly break her. Director Tünde Skovrán takes the opportunity to convey her Sharon-Rises inner turmoil with thoughtful creativity.

I find it ironic that Christianity plays such a looming role in the lives of South Africans. If God created people in his image and is infallible, why do so many preachers and institutions narrowly define male and female? Religion is so often a spirit murderer. WHO I AM NOT explores how each family confronts these issues.

Sharon-Rose and Katso seek respect and live in harmony without judgment. In the way sexuality is not a choice, being born intersex is not a choice. WHO I AM NOT is an essential education for audiences far beyond the seats at SXSW 2023. It deserves a global audience.