Being an avid movie watcher since early childhood has given me a whole lot of perspective on life; like, how NOT to be a good parent. My dad thought it appropriate to show me Poltergeist at age 2. He’s not my dad anymore. But seriously, here is a list of the Top 10 Movies that traumatized me back then… and still cause me to grab the tissue box today… because I am a wimp… and I have a soul!
10. The Lion King– Fratricide.
9. The Little Princess– Oh, your dad died? Oh your’re not rich anymore? BOOM! Attic for you, Missy!
8. Charlotte’s Web– I’m sorry, did you get attached to the mother figure? Too bad for you.
7. Old Yeller– Rabies and a shot gun.
6. Bambi– Noooo, Bambi’s mom! Shot gun.
5. Steel Magnolias– Dialysis, coma, death of a daughter. “Drink your juice, Shelby.”
4. The Land Before Time– Murderous T-Rex, Tree Star, Orphan.
3. The Never Ending Story– Dead Mother, World being swallowed by depression, Artax. Not cool, Swamps of Sadness, not cool.
And….Tied for 1st and 2nd place, respectively…
E.T. -Weird, Cute alien is killed by grown ups. Oh wait, he’s alive! Just kidding, he’s leaving you behind. “I’ll… be… right… here.”
My Girl– Coming of age was never so much fun until your best friend dies and the funeral is in your house! “Where are his glasses?! He can’t see without his glasses!”
Excuse me. I need a moment. *single tear*
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